2012 was ok. The back half better than the front. 2011 kinda sucked. Some of you know all the reasons, some don't, but it was probably out hardest year as a family. It started off new years day with a miscarraige, then I was diagnosed with my blood disorder. We were blessed with a pregnancy shortly after, but it was not an easy one. I had an episode that was diagnosed as a 'possible' TIA. Then preterm labor, a premature birth and 2 weeks in the NICU. Nevermind the family drama that was going on back home that still managed to reach us here. The 2 shining spots in the year were Lorelei's birth and her DNA clearing her of VLCAD.
2012 we closed in ranks around our little family and recovered. It was hard on all of us. Especially with no support system close by. By spring we (mostly me) were ready to put everything behind us and move on. I was lucky to find a great friend in someone that started as a running buddy. She introduced us to an amazing church where we found a great 'family,' and by the time Elliot needed surgery in October we had more help than we could have asked for! We have truly been blessed with great friends this year!
On to 2013!! We have 3 HEALTHY kids, great friends, amazing family, and a marriage that has grown stronger through it all. I don't usually make 'resolutions' but I have some goals for 2013.
1. SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY KIDS...not just existing as a family in the same house. I've been very lucky to meet some amazing moms this past year who inspire me to try to be a better mom. One friend in particular who plays outside with her kids in the dirt, runs around with them in bathing suits sliding into their wading pool, does crafts on a regular basis, all while keeping a clean (I know she'll disagree, but she's crazy) house!
2. GET MORE ORGANIZED...In everything. I have felt so disorganized since Lorelei came around. Our house is CHAOS! And sometimes we have C.H.A.O.S. as in Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome! My goal for this year is a place for everything and everrything in it's place. I also want to get back in to couponing. It has been sporadic and disorganized at best this past year. My stockpile is non-existent and I know I'm spending way more than I need to.
3. GET HEALTHY! This is a hard one for me. I struggle to find time to work out and eat decent meals. So instead I find myself hanging on to some pregnancy weight, fatigued, and eating on the go. I was really hoping to lose about 30 pounds before a very important wedding in February...That's not gonna happen so my new plan is to lose at least 10. Then lose 20 by summer and 30 by the end of the year. I need to make some serious lifestyle changes to make that happen.
So there it is. I guess I should also say be a better blogger since I RARELY write with any consistency! I hope all of you will help keep me on top of things!
Showing posts with label Lorelei. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lorelei. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
For My Little Ladybug...
My little Lulu is ONE! Her party turned out better than expected!
Maybe because I had an extra week and a 'trial' run at most the preparations thanks to our weekend in the hospital! Her dessert table was the best.
I'm not sure what was my favorite! The ladybug pretzels were super yummy! Grandma K's shortbread cookies tasted as good as ever and I was thrilled with how the icing turned out.
I am super impressed with how her cake turned out! I've never attempted to frost a cake before and never even touched fondant! I read some tips on pinterest and videos on Youtube on how to get my frosting smooth and it turned out better than expected! Admittedly my writing is a little wonky but The cake was adorable!
The smash cake was almost as cute! I didn't like the shape of the head as much, but it just got destroyed anyway!
We had a ladybug craft and favors with red and black candies...
Everyone had fun and Lorelei's first birthday was celebrated like it was supposed to be! I still can't believe my baby girl is one! I'm ANXIOUSLY waiting for her one year pictures so stay tuned for more cuteness than you can handle!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Lorelei's Arrival
Lorelei is almost ONE! I can't help but to find myself thinking about her first month. I wish I had taken more pictures. There are very few of her first month and hardly any from the first 2 weeks.
It's taken me pretty much Lorelei's entire first year to deal with what happened surrounding Lorelei's birth and her first month of life. It's been on my mind and heavy on my heart this week. Some of you know the story, a lot of you don't. I thought putting it into words might help, so here it is...
Sometime around midnight on Saturday, October 15th, my water broke. Aaron and I panicked! It was the first weekend of the kids' fall break and both of our back up babysitters (lined up incase she came before my scheduled c-section) were, of course, out of town.
After scaring our neighbors half to death by ringing their doorbell, and frantic calls to the Doctor, our amazing friend, Becki, and my mom, we were on our way to the hospital.
They checked me in and told us they were going to try to hold off my c-section until 9am since I had taken my shot of heparin at 9pm. So Aaron left me at the hospital and went home to relieve our neighbor until Becki arrived. It was a super long night of contractions, medication to stop the contractions, going back and forth with 'call your husband, we're doing it now' to 'here's some more meds, hang in there'. Becki drove straight through the night from Michigan and arrived at our house about 6am! (Is she amazing, or what?) Aaron got back to the hospital about 6:45 and they decided I couldn't wait anymore. The c-section was actually my easiest, I think. The anesthesiologist was amazing, and the doctor was great too, even though she wasn't my doctor. Lorelei's first apgar was pretty low, but by one minute she scored a nine. She was breathing great considering she was 4 weeks early and she weighed a whopping 7 pounds 5 ounces! She definitely didn't look preterm.
They first few days were great. She seemed perfectly healthy. Though we did have the AB/O incompatibility which made her jaundice. Day 2 was when they put her on a Biliblanket. Her bilirubin was getting too high. Day 3 they added a second biliblanket so she had one on her front and one on her back. Then in the evening the neonatologist came in to tell us she was dehydrated and they were going to move her to the nicu for fluids and the overhead phototherapy.
As hard as that was, we had no idea what was in store for us. I spent that night in my room praying, going up to the nicu every few hours to feed her, and NOT sleeping. The next day we spent in the nicu, thinking she would be going home the next day. Sometime that night, maybe around 10, but I don't remember, a neonatologist came in and told us that her newborn screen had come back showing she had VLCAD. He pretty much just handed us a printout from a webpage and knew nothing about this condition.
So what do 2 parents with smartphones do? We went to google. BAAAAAD idea. The internet gave us a ton of scary information. Probably the scariest being that VLCAD has a 80-85% infant mortality rate. We spent that first night scared to death. No one knew anything. The nurses didn't even know what VLCAD was!
The next morning we met an amazing neonatologist, Dr. Cohen. As soon as he came in the next morning, there was a plan. It was scary, but at least he seemed to know what he was doing. They started taking Lo's blood sugar every 3 hours, she wasn't allowed to go more than 3 hours without eating a specified amount, she was hooked up to a Holter monitor, had a chest x-ray and an ultrasound on her heart and had an EKG. Then they drew a ton of labs to send out, if I remember right it was somewhere between 60-80 tests! They drew so much blood they had to take it out of her femoral artery.
At this point she was down around 6 lbs. Feeding her was so stressful. She was so lethargic, it was hard to keep her awake to eat. We would strip her down, wipe her with a damp cloth, tickle her, all to get her to eat. We weren't allowed to snuggle her while we fed her. It was all business. It was scary to think that if I couldn't get her to eat she could go in to metabolic crisis and get very sick. When she spit up we would worry about how much volume she was losing. If she didn't want to eat I would panic. Then the nurse would take her and finish her bottle, then tell me that they would not let me take her home if I couldn't get her to eat.
I never got to just hold her. Until one day I was finishing feeding her. I was hooking her back up to her biliblanket, her heart monitors, her pulse oximeter...I had just finished swaddling her when my favorite nurse, Krista came in. She said "why don't you just sit and hold her?" I hadn't been given that option before. I undid her swaddle and tucked her in my shirt for some kangaroo care. Probably the best hour of the entire ordeal!
Test results started to come in. They were all consistent with VLCAD. Dr. Cohen was totally convinced that she had VLCAD. Her symptoms were textbook. He had Aaron convinced too. I was less willing to take the doctor's word. I tried my best to remain hopeful. I prayed constantly that God would give her strength. That He would give me strength. That He wouldn't take her from us. I grieved for the baby I was supposed to have. I grieved for the life she wouldn't get. I wondered if she'd ever get to be a 'normal' kid.
Maybe one of the hardest parts through all of this was that Aaron and I weren't together. He was home with Amelia and Elliot. I was at the hospital with Lorelei. I couldn't drive so I was pretty much stuck there. Not that you could have drug me away.
At 10 days old, we finally got to take Lorelei home. For a very stressful 36 hours. We spent the evening snuggling her on the couch.
We hardly slept because we were so afraid we would over sleep the alarm and be late for a feeding. I guess the first 24 hours went as smoothly as could be expected. We took her in for a weight check and bilirubin check, they were okay. Okay enough for them to let us take her back home. Then in the evening we had a hard time waking her up and getting her to eat. We had been told one bad feeding wouldn't be the end of the world, so I tried (unsuccessfully) not to panic. The next feeding she was even harder to wake up. So we called the doctor. I should have known when he told us to take her straight back up to the nicu that she was staying. I guess I was in denial. They admitted her immediately. As soon as we got there they started running tests on her heart. She was beginning to get dehydrated again and despite being on the biliblanket at home, her bilirubin was going back up.
The next two days it was back to the same routine. IV's, photo-therapy, blood sugar checks, EKG. They made us switch her to formula. They let us go back home Sunday. She was 2 weeks old. Then we just had to wait for her test results. We had to stick to a rigid routine of feeding her every 3 hours. She HAD to get a certain amount. We couldn't hold off her feeding if we were out. Our lives were planned around her feeding schedule. We had to go to the doctor every day to have her weight checked. When she was 4 weeks she finally made it back to her birth weight. At four and a half weeks we met with the genetic counselor because they had gotten most of her test results back. At that appointment they were able to tell us with 99% accuracy that she did not have VLCAD. We still had to wait for her DNA results, but we were pretty much in the clear. It's crazy, but I didn't know how to process the news. I didn't know how to treat her like a normal healthy baby. To be honest I still don't. I still get a little panicky if I think she's getting sick. If one of the other kids get sick, I still think 'what if Lo had VLCAD?'
At 5 weeks, her DNA results came back that she had no mutations. She is most likely not even a cariier for VLCAD. It was a false positive on her newborn screen. She is perfect. Healthy. Everything we prayed so hard for.
We like to joke that she ate that little sick baby. She's such a chunk. You would never know by looking at her that she had such a hard first month. It still weighs heavy on my heart, but she will have no lasting memory. No evidence of that time. But I don't want to forget. I feel like I wished away that first month just waiting to know the test reults. There aren't many pictures.
It's taken me pretty much Lorelei's entire first year to deal with what happened surrounding Lorelei's birth and her first month of life. It's been on my mind and heavy on my heart this week. Some of you know the story, a lot of you don't. I thought putting it into words might help, so here it is...
Sometime around midnight on Saturday, October 15th, my water broke. Aaron and I panicked! It was the first weekend of the kids' fall break and both of our back up babysitters (lined up incase she came before my scheduled c-section) were, of course, out of town.
After scaring our neighbors half to death by ringing their doorbell, and frantic calls to the Doctor, our amazing friend, Becki, and my mom, we were on our way to the hospital.
They checked me in and told us they were going to try to hold off my c-section until 9am since I had taken my shot of heparin at 9pm. So Aaron left me at the hospital and went home to relieve our neighbor until Becki arrived. It was a super long night of contractions, medication to stop the contractions, going back and forth with 'call your husband, we're doing it now' to 'here's some more meds, hang in there'. Becki drove straight through the night from Michigan and arrived at our house about 6am! (Is she amazing, or what?) Aaron got back to the hospital about 6:45 and they decided I couldn't wait anymore. The c-section was actually my easiest, I think. The anesthesiologist was amazing, and the doctor was great too, even though she wasn't my doctor. Lorelei's first apgar was pretty low, but by one minute she scored a nine. She was breathing great considering she was 4 weeks early and she weighed a whopping 7 pounds 5 ounces! She definitely didn't look preterm.
As hard as that was, we had no idea what was in store for us. I spent that night in my room praying, going up to the nicu every few hours to feed her, and NOT sleeping. The next day we spent in the nicu, thinking she would be going home the next day. Sometime that night, maybe around 10, but I don't remember, a neonatologist came in and told us that her newborn screen had come back showing she had VLCAD. He pretty much just handed us a printout from a webpage and knew nothing about this condition.
So what do 2 parents with smartphones do? We went to google. BAAAAAD idea. The internet gave us a ton of scary information. Probably the scariest being that VLCAD has a 80-85% infant mortality rate. We spent that first night scared to death. No one knew anything. The nurses didn't even know what VLCAD was!
The next morning we met an amazing neonatologist, Dr. Cohen. As soon as he came in the next morning, there was a plan. It was scary, but at least he seemed to know what he was doing. They started taking Lo's blood sugar every 3 hours, she wasn't allowed to go more than 3 hours without eating a specified amount, she was hooked up to a Holter monitor, had a chest x-ray and an ultrasound on her heart and had an EKG. Then they drew a ton of labs to send out, if I remember right it was somewhere between 60-80 tests! They drew so much blood they had to take it out of her femoral artery.
At this point she was down around 6 lbs. Feeding her was so stressful. She was so lethargic, it was hard to keep her awake to eat. We would strip her down, wipe her with a damp cloth, tickle her, all to get her to eat. We weren't allowed to snuggle her while we fed her. It was all business. It was scary to think that if I couldn't get her to eat she could go in to metabolic crisis and get very sick. When she spit up we would worry about how much volume she was losing. If she didn't want to eat I would panic. Then the nurse would take her and finish her bottle, then tell me that they would not let me take her home if I couldn't get her to eat.
I never got to just hold her. Until one day I was finishing feeding her. I was hooking her back up to her biliblanket, her heart monitors, her pulse oximeter...I had just finished swaddling her when my favorite nurse, Krista came in. She said "why don't you just sit and hold her?" I hadn't been given that option before. I undid her swaddle and tucked her in my shirt for some kangaroo care. Probably the best hour of the entire ordeal!
Test results started to come in. They were all consistent with VLCAD. Dr. Cohen was totally convinced that she had VLCAD. Her symptoms were textbook. He had Aaron convinced too. I was less willing to take the doctor's word. I tried my best to remain hopeful. I prayed constantly that God would give her strength. That He would give me strength. That He wouldn't take her from us. I grieved for the baby I was supposed to have. I grieved for the life she wouldn't get. I wondered if she'd ever get to be a 'normal' kid.
Maybe one of the hardest parts through all of this was that Aaron and I weren't together. He was home with Amelia and Elliot. I was at the hospital with Lorelei. I couldn't drive so I was pretty much stuck there. Not that you could have drug me away.
At 10 days old, we finally got to take Lorelei home. For a very stressful 36 hours. We spent the evening snuggling her on the couch.
The next two days it was back to the same routine. IV's, photo-therapy, blood sugar checks, EKG. They made us switch her to formula. They let us go back home Sunday. She was 2 weeks old. Then we just had to wait for her test results. We had to stick to a rigid routine of feeding her every 3 hours. She HAD to get a certain amount. We couldn't hold off her feeding if we were out. Our lives were planned around her feeding schedule. We had to go to the doctor every day to have her weight checked. When she was 4 weeks she finally made it back to her birth weight. At four and a half weeks we met with the genetic counselor because they had gotten most of her test results back. At that appointment they were able to tell us with 99% accuracy that she did not have VLCAD. We still had to wait for her DNA results, but we were pretty much in the clear. It's crazy, but I didn't know how to process the news. I didn't know how to treat her like a normal healthy baby. To be honest I still don't. I still get a little panicky if I think she's getting sick. If one of the other kids get sick, I still think 'what if Lo had VLCAD?'
At 5 weeks, her DNA results came back that she had no mutations. She is most likely not even a cariier for VLCAD. It was a false positive on her newborn screen. She is perfect. Healthy. Everything we prayed so hard for.
We like to joke that she ate that little sick baby. She's such a chunk. You would never know by looking at her that she had such a hard first month. It still weighs heavy on my heart, but she will have no lasting memory. No evidence of that time. But I don't want to forget. I feel like I wished away that first month just waiting to know the test reults. There aren't many pictures.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Lorelei's First 'Haircut'
So Lorelei has been rocking a rattail since she was born. We have enjoyed joking about it and saying it's cause she's born and raised in Kentucky. Since it is newborn baby hair, it has a tendency to get super tangled and end up looking like a dreadlock. I decided it was finally time to cut the rattail off.
Here is her incredibly long rattail.
And here she is after her haircut!
Here is her incredibly long rattail.
It looks so much nicer, but I have a few regrets!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Lorelei is 8 months!
You've now been here for as long as you grew inside me. I still think a lot about those first 5 weeks and how blessed we are to have you with us, healthy and happy. It's like when you have a bad dream and it sticks with you. That's what that time is like for me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that you are healthy and I don't have to worry so much!
You have so much personality. You are the happiest baby I've ever seen! Unless you're mad...then you're MAD! You're rarely fussy. I love all your faces. When you can talk I know you'll have a lot to say.
You love your toys. You have figured out how to make noise with them and shake your rattles and bang them together. Your favorites are the pink bug and Sophie the giraffe. You chew on anything you can get your hands on. Everything goes straight to your mouth.
You have 2 teeth and no signs of getting any others any time soon.
You've figured out how to move! You scooted for the first time yesterday and today you're all over! You haven't quite figured out what to do once you get your knees under you.
You love your brother and sister. I love watching you watch them. You love music. You love to watch Amelia and Elliot dance.
You nap well but sleeping at night is another story! You wake up every couple hours and want me. You have to have your blankie to sleep. You like to bury your face in it. I hate that. You also have to have your seahorse.
You LOVE food! Especially green vegetables. You've had broccoli, avocado, green beans, peas, apples, pears, bananas, sweet potatoes, and carrots. I couldn't pick what I think is your favorite. You love it all.
You love when I sing to you. Your favorite is "You Are My Sunshine." You definitely live up to the lyrics. I'm so thankful He chose me to be your Mommy. You make me happy when skies are grey.
You have so much personality. You are the happiest baby I've ever seen! Unless you're mad...then you're MAD! You're rarely fussy. I love all your faces. When you can talk I know you'll have a lot to say.
You love your toys. You have figured out how to make noise with them and shake your rattles and bang them together. Your favorites are the pink bug and Sophie the giraffe. You chew on anything you can get your hands on. Everything goes straight to your mouth.
You have 2 teeth and no signs of getting any others any time soon.
You've figured out how to move! You scooted for the first time yesterday and today you're all over! You haven't quite figured out what to do once you get your knees under you.
You love your brother and sister. I love watching you watch them. You love music. You love to watch Amelia and Elliot dance.
You nap well but sleeping at night is another story! You wake up every couple hours and want me. You have to have your blankie to sleep. You like to bury your face in it. I hate that. You also have to have your seahorse.
You LOVE food! Especially green vegetables. You've had broccoli, avocado, green beans, peas, apples, pears, bananas, sweet potatoes, and carrots. I couldn't pick what I think is your favorite. You love it all.
You love when I sing to you. Your favorite is "You Are My Sunshine." You definitely live up to the lyrics. I'm so thankful He chose me to be your Mommy. You make me happy when skies are grey.
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